i know i'm into survival mode when i start writing in this bloggy a lot. it's just an indication - that i'm not out, free, playing, and frolicking in the bullrushes and catching grasshoppers, but wired, and tired, and fastened to a desk, memorizing cysts and lesions of the oral cavity. head bopping up and down to kylie minogue, getting up to shake the ass once in a while, to get the blood going. i'm looking around, and i'm moving out this week - and all of a sudden, i love this apartment! it's just the right size for me. everything here is for me, me, me, me...i don't have to share an ounce of space.

i've decided that everything - your outlook on life - is dependent upon your outlook. if i viewed this week with trepidation and hatred (what else would three tests and piling work invoke? not sentimentality, of course), then it will be a week of hellish time-spent. but here i am, relatively happy, enjoying this studying, not thinking of it as a burden or anything like that, or as the greatest obstacle to ever overcome - in my life, with my family, my friends and teachers, with all the blessings that i have, nothing is impossible.

i'm just thinking of random things while i take a break. i was doing a few dishes tonight, with rotting food sitting at the bottom of the drain, and i was digging it out, and thought of a photographer i met in vancouver who took a picture of my hands and told me i had the prettiest hands ever. what a nice compliment! they won't be so nice, i fear, after touching a lot of bleach for endo and continuosly scraping my arms on my burs and having wet jadestone hands from labwork.

the greatest debate going on our class, right now, is a vote to get our friday practical moved to afte the march break. a few people are very obstinate about having the practical this particular friday, while the majority of the class would like to have it after the march break. there are three opinions - one is that we would appreciate more practice time and with all that we have to do this week, moving the practical would be good. there is also the opinion that one should just do what is best for the majority, or to agree with the majority. and the other opinion is that the practical should not be moved. i don't know why i'm writing about this. well - actually i do - i won't go into particulars, but it's just amazing to see the way in which different people handle this dilemma. some people act altruistically, and want to do what would benefit the greatest good. others don't seem to see certain issues that are coupled with this decision as relevant - as inane as this decision may be (i know whatever is decided doesn't mark the end of the world as we know it) but how we act in small dilemmas is certainly a great reflection of one's selfhood. our class demonstrates a rather interesting gradient, in terms of diplomacy, tact, compassion, persuasiveness, and character, one end of the gradient neither worse nor better than the other. it's just a really interesting microcolony, i suppose.

anyway, back to studying.