ugh....it's early in the morning, i'm checking the news and the weather and my e-mail on the internet...sitting here with my bowl of porridge and grafefruit juice, so tired and sleep deprived (entirely my own fault; i found my ally mcbeal tapes at home and brought them here - it was ally mcbeal re-run marathon night until 3 in the morning), wondering just how i'm going to get this huge bomb-like microscope to school without dropping it or just leaving it on the street altogether in a weakened abandonment. now that i have all this time, i forsee that i will probably be putting every move and every thought on this blog...hopefully it doesn't come to something as terrible and unwarranted and obscene as that. my apartment is still a HUGE mess, and i forsee it being that way until my mom comes up and does my martha-stewart-esque rearranging, or until i finally get to fed up with having to step around things and stubbing my toe into everything...i didn't anticipate having trouble falling asleep but i did. it was the usually new-apartment new surroundings new noises things, and partly an anxiousness about being on a lower floor now, of ghosts, and things like that. maybe it was my 3am curfew.

i was reading a bit of russel bertram on the train ride here yesterday, and he said that the value of philosophy lies not in certainty and having philosophical questions answered with a definite this and a definite that (upon which it becomes a science; case in point, astronomy), but lies in considering the many possibilities and exploring incertainty, and in considering subject matters of greatness. like life, like death, like love. inexplicable, wondrous things. hmmmm. i'm already attacking the books. i brought up the discoverers and the creators yesterday, along with some eugene o'neill and homer from my home-home library. every summer it's always the same - stock up on the books and never get to read them all - so much ambition, and despite the summer holiday, so little time. here's to a seclusive monk-like existence in old campus town.

byebye for now.