thanks to insane ray for his "signature" fart...in my guestbook...

i'm writing in my blog, which means i have five less minutes to study for the "killer" operative final - my last exam - i can't believe i've gone through almost 10 written exams and practicals...and i think they've all gone quite well (well, i say that maybe too prematurely, before i even know what my final grades are). but i mean, you must get something out of spending more-than-twelve-hour days day after day at the library...

i am getting tubby, i think. maybe not that tubby, but i've certainly got a little vibration thing going on at certain body parts where one does not normally like to see vibration. i'm talking the tricep, the impossible-to-get-rid-of area around the belly, maybe some butt movement...it's all this studying! you'd think the stress and resulting cortisol-whatever releasing would make your body a nervous wreck and thus be shrunken in mass and might (first week of dentistry - all bewildered and kinda lost and new people and oh my and new place and fending for myself - i lost weight dramatically) but all this padding my studying with tim horton's iced cap (i called that an assed-cap today, for some reason), bags of humpty dumpty (an ex i once knew used to call them humpy dumpy, in earnest, he wasn't making a joke), michelina's and fast food and creamy food from sebatini's and angelo's and the horrid horrid wicked UCC, cornettos and candy and gummies from the pit stop...have made me just RAGING to go for a real cement-pounding run.

i'm closer than ever to finishing dentistry first year - can't believe i've written 10 or so exams and practicals (i can't believe i've made it through this entire year without drilling my finger off). it's quite a bit of stress, and i know before it sometimes i feel sick with worry - but not all the time - most of the other times i don't care at all - but now i can't remember all the work and work, sitting and studying. i wrote an exam this morning and right now i feel as if i hadn't even written an exam. i know operative is the day after tomorrow, but it's not such a big deal in my mind right now (wait until tomorrow around midnight, i'll be pulling an all-nighter maybe and probably crying)...the exam seems so far away.

at the same time, some things are too near, coming to an end too quickly. you know what i mean, you know what feeling i'm talking about. and i've been brooding over this for the last little while - and sometimes my thoughts make me a bit teary, sometimes i have to tell myself to not get sentimental and just move on and maybe in general i'm thinking too much...but maybe i've been thinking about it the wrong way. i shouldn't think that things are coming to an end...the academic year, sure, has come to an end, but some butthead i don't know sets that calendar. everything else is just in its initial stages, is just starting, or at least, on-going. this is just one of four academic years, and there are, god willing, many years after that.

and still, brevity - whoosh - there it goes