aaaaaaahahahahahahaaa! i must say that i'm quite thankful for the friends that I have - they're so CUTE! i was inspired to write because of a conversation i just had with terminalis...it's so strange how things get...interpreted, i guess...anyway, here's what happened...

so last nite, we go for bubble tea...until sort of late, and i was tired but hyper hyper because bubble tea was just so outrageous and funny (i can't, unfortunately - or fortunately - transcribe the events of bubble tea here, publicly). so my wont when i get home is to get in the net, check my mail, do a bit of icq-ing, and sometimes icq-ing turns out to be these long sessions with people i haven't seen or talked to for a long time....then there are people who write me everytime they see me online, like ray, and his conversations always start "smelly one!" and "p u !"...

so i got to sleep late, despite an early operative session i knew i had, and then i couldn't sleep well...i kept having these dentally-related dreams. like, just being in dental classes, walking around in the dental halls, holding dental equipment - must have been because of my two accident-prone days in the sim clinic, tuesday and wednesday. and then, when i woke up, i felt as though i didn't even sleep, and it took all my willpower to even get dressed for operative and a pick-up from baharah...i didn't even shower!! yuck!
so after a gruelling drilling session, an adrenaline charged change back into regular clothes from scrubs, and a mad dash up to oral physiology, i was tired. still, we pressed on to watch the head and neck dissection video (in preparation for a quiz we might or might not have - we're geeks at heart, our lab table - except bighead, he's too cool) and instead of heading to UCC for lunch, which is the usual wont, i said bye to asian posse and went home (long, cold walk home!) to get some sleep...which apparently prompted some concern. like, what's wrong with piggy? why did piggy go home? and i suppose, according to terminalis, that led to speculation that bighead and porage got me mad and stuff, which led to phone calls from bighead and porage (the first phone call while i was sleeping, and all i could hear was crackling cellular phone activity, and being sleepy and disoriented, couldn't hear a thing) and later again, this time when i was awake (this time a weird-voiced jesh, leading me to first believe it was some weirdo whispering high-pitched whinings into the line) and strange questions from them like "are you okay piggy?" leading me to say "yes, what's wrong with you?"...anyway, then this interchange led to a mini-snack of baby pig and baby pig skin (pretty tender, though i was afraid to eat pig dermis) and i gave bighead some chocolate banana bread - which proage doesn't like, because it doesn't have chocolate chips and chocolate icing on it.....oh porage!

- thanks for caring, guys, it touches me, and i won't forget it.

anyway, i'm going home this weekend...which is good, i want to see my mom. it's only been two weeks since toronto holidays, but it seems that i always spend the first little while a tiny bit homesick - or just wistful for a city with crispy beef and cake and coffee and mac counters and aveda stores and lots of colorful and non-homogeneous people everywhere, all the time.

i figure i should have told asian posse that i needed to sleep, and that's why i was going home, instead of waving a bye and turning the other way. i suppose that's sort of symptomatic of me...i'm used to doing things by myself, and not rounding up the entire group, or waiting for the entire group to do something en masse - i've always been comfortable with a good deal of solitude. and being in a busy city, or a large university where you don't know many people but there are a lot of acquaintances and people around...you get distracted from loneliness. although my actions may sometimes appear maybe cold, or weird, or snobby (i've been told that i'm an "ice princess", an eccentric, and aloof), it's probably more the case that i'm shyer than people think i am, i need to find an affinity with someone before i open up...and warm up, and aloofness is really a defence that highly sensitive people construct, because their perceptions and observations and intuitions are so acute and atuned. a million different possibilities race through their thoughts and analyze things...and then its hard to act, and one ends up doing the most general, neutral, undetectable move possible. or masking whatever-it-is with sarcastic wit.

anyway, this is not all me, and certainly not all the time. every person does, if you remember, have at least 22 different sides to them.
it's unfathomnable to consider just how a single person might be a jerk, sweet, funny, vulnerable, ignorant, mean, exclusive, needy, lonely, voluntarily reclusive, good, bad, illegal, illicit, stupid, smart, philosophical, downright moronic, leptonic, hungry, vegetarian, sweet-toothed, materialistic, naturalistic, darwinistic...all simultaneously.

enameloma.