it's sort of early in the morning, and the library is empty. and cool. and serene.

unlike yesterday, when the air was dripping with it, and outside, it hailed for a glorious few moments. it was rather cathartic, i think, because we've got endodontics and oral path behind us - i think, two of the more feared exams out of our 14-exam fest-arama. i want to put "-arama" after everything i write, because my pink notes have things like "ortho/pedo bellarama" and mark put "nodule-rama" or something like that for one of the oral path questions he didn't know... ;p

i've never felt so unprepared for exams before. oral path....we've all been studying that one, so many hours a day, sweating over it, fearing it, rolling our eyeballs in aghast and in incredulous wonder at how Drs. Daley and Darling are able to
filing cabinet" these hundreds of oral cysts, lesions, and tumors so ably and aptly... for weeks before the date we studied, and the night before, i had a mini-death - i felt like i didn't know a thing, and each word i read that night entered my brain and got lost in between the synapses. and so i know that all i could do was just go to sleep, and pray that something would come back to me. i don't know exactly how these things go, but it wasn't too bad at all. i remember more of the material after the fact....

oh man, endo. i remember at certain points during the night before the exam i just wanted to cry....bills kept going on all day about how he really had a bad feeling about this exam...kept walking around going "this is not good"...and i think i picked up the same vibe, or the same sense of doom...the bunch of us were in taylor until closing, arguing and discussing what to do for radical bends and dilacerations in canals, which rotaries and handfiles to use in which case, and i have to say, i learned more about endo in that night - about the possibilities with all the instruments - than i had the entire term. it really goes to show how everyone picks up different things, different tidbits of information, and we really need to band together to see the whole picture. in light of this, i also feel that there's so much more we need to learn before we can do this on real people - or at least, we'll need to stick to really straight canals, at least for now.

there is so much stress associated with these exams. hmm. in any case, there are four days left until another onslaught of 6...i slept for almost 18 hours straight since endo....