i'm thinking now of that cheesy soap opera, the one that features an hourglass with a man's swoony voice in the background..."these are the days of our lives...". i've been sitting in my apartment studying (well, a combination of studying and napping) for at least 7 hours already, and with not much to show for it! it's been ineffective today, but MY ineffectiveness reflects my total unexcitement for pharmacology. (eccept for the subject of straight narcotics, of course). (i'm a dealer).

ah hem. there's such a short time left now....just a week, and i should just buckle down and study study study the nights and days through. it's hard. i'm limited by this fleshy rotting dreg0full thing called a body! my mind! my mind! it exists beyond this body! it will cyclically exist forever, through other bodies! (that's a real philosophy, by the way). anyway, yeah, my body gets sleepy, my eyes get tired, my back gets achy...i wonder what life would be like if i could do everything i still do - go about my daily routine of school and stuff and shopping and eating - but be totally unaffected by the needs of my body. i would save so much time. for instance, i would never have to brush or wash my hair. hey, no showers at all! i wouldn't have to eat, i would have no need to eat (although i would probably opt to anyway, for the pleasure of taste), no embarrassing extrabodily functions, no sloughing off of skin, thousands of squames by the second (hey, less dust), no cuts, no bruises, no fear of bodily death by any means. i would just be a floating entity, an energy. i would just be a big protected brain, like Crang, on the animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

it snowed like mad for a little while today. what a refreshing sight. how is it that snow, which is so soft and is but a mere lace of icy-water ... come down so hard and fast? i wish to be skiing...and skating...outside...

my desires at this particular time of year - so go carolling, to decorate my house, to put up our tree, to do outdoor wintery sports...kind of seems to, as a whole, hark back to more youthful times, more innocent times, i guess. i think it has to do with reconnecting with people, or connecting with people. i think, in life, you have ideas, and you have people. you could be a reclusive intellectual, and focus on one, or you could be a total social butterfly and make empty conversation, but how great is it to put the two together?

aaaaaaaanyway. back to studying.