ok...so oprah winfrey gets made fun of on Mad tv, but it's a measure of her fame. harpo productions (oprah backwards) appears on her own show, and on Dr. Phil's show. they're friends, you know, oprah and dr. phil. anyway, i'm trying to watch as much tv as i can before going back this week, where i am currently borrowing a friend's very small tv/vcr...my head is bigger than the actualy set. and i only get the new PR, and anyway, i don't think there will be much time for tv this year. so there's my justification bit for having seen charity today, locked in the basement (apparently for a few days, or weeks) giving birth to a baby where a monkey presides as nurse, dressed in a kinky nurse's outfit. and i saw bits of dr. phil's show (tomorrow - cheerleaders and their moms!) and oprah today. but here's why i'm telling you this: oprah's show made me cry and cry. i cried through almost the entire thing...it was about a family who went, via national geographic, to nairobi to live with a family, in their lifestyle. This is a third world country. they initially fared as how you might expect an american family to fare - from 5 bathrooms to a hole in the ground, big home to a hut, isles and aisles of food to choose from turning into meals for which you must hunt or travel 4 hours to acquire...lots of crying, lots of whining, lots of attitude. of course, there is a lot to get used to. for instance, the absence of electricity. the absence of luxuries and conveniences, like a car at your disposal, malls, supermarkets - there's NOTHING around. your hut is small (the size of family Mother's walk-in closet) and constructed by your hosts. there isn't even a lot of greenery. acquiring water means pumping it yourself - it doesn't come out crystal clear, there is no hut-to-hut delivery of water. preparing meals is a day-long exercise. there are lots of bugs at night. the nearest telephone (singular) is 4 hours away, by bus. the host's family is astounded by the concept of a zip-lock bag. their children stare in amazement at shiny yellow toy cars. they ask the family how many goats they have in new york. there's a funny shot in which family Father is brushing his teeth with a battery-operated spinbrush, while the locals sit around him, just staring. anyway, at first, the kids hated to be there, the mother's temper flared, there were family fights, but as time went on...there was so much learning going on, so much understanding, such that when they left, both families were in tears. the young american son was in tears, and it was an elderly nairobian man who comforted him. he said "I love you, don't cry. you are a warrior, don't cry," and asked him to write from new york, so as to share stories all the time. they have a deeply rooted, loving, grounded calmness, and even the young american 8-year old realizes this, because those are essentially his sentiments. their other children, when oprah asked them what they learned, all said that we don't need the stuff that we think we need, or are led to believe that we need. They say there are four essentials: food, water, and shelter, of course, and the fourth item, a pair, family and friends. and how would the nairobian (i don't know if that's correct nomenclature) familiy react to an experience in america? mum says they would freak out on a grocery store, laughs, but then remarks that they would see through the shiny superficial - the terra cotta planters, the backyard pool, the glorious packaging of Estee Lauder - and witness our shortcomings. i really want to live my life with that in mind - that i don't need much more than those 4 things - and perhaps that would bring great focus and perspective into my life.

it reminds of something i read - jan wong of the globe and mail wrote it - she does this funny "Lunch with" column, where she takes celebrities and other famous moody people for lunch, and then writes about it. for instance, lynn johnston, when she lunched with jan at the old spaghetti factory, wrote a scathing comment card regarding the service - prompting jan wong to call back later, and telling the spaghetti people the service was not bad at all. margaret atwood wanting to change tables, citing want of a quieter table - in an empty restaurant. anyway, these people, when they get unfavorable articles writtten about them, have their managers and agents call and yell at jan wong, or they themselves throw hissy fits, sometimes in the middle of lunch, and this causes jan to muse that having witnessed tiannamen square demonstrations (she was beijing bureau chief or something back then), celebrity hissy fits do not faze her. we all need perspective like that. if only!

then i'm reminded of the blackout ontarians experienced just two weeks ago. eves declared a province-wide state of emergency, everyone used candles (or flashlights, at mel lastman's urging - he thought everyone would set their own house on fire) - and i lost my train of thought. oh, well, yesterday, i was having dinner with deb and clayton and lil, and deb said that she liked the blackout and wished that the blackout had continued for longer, citing a feeling of how things seemed simpler...and i remember listening to the radio in the 14th and 15th, and many families were calling in to CFRB, saying they never had had such a great time....watching the stars (i LOVED that)(i LOVE STARS!), even TALKING to their kids, playing board games together...no beep beep beep of the computer game that, no oh oh oh's of the baby blue smut late nite on city...

and so, well, from time to time you should think of your own life, examine it from a perspective that is not so close to it. you know, like how mary poppins says that Mr. Banks can't see past the tip of his own nose. i love that movie. it's strange to think - it's difficult to reconcile - that while i'm here writing whatever onto some weirdo thing called a blogger, on a computer with high speed internet (what's that?) or all things, other people, on the other side of this planet, at also going about their daily life, albeit very different, and much harder in many ways, much simpler in important ways. why do i study dentistry? is there or what value is there in being a dentist? what else should i do with my life? do people in third world countries want to live in america? why have they never seen a plastic bag? isn't being paid for overtime such a funny thing? my mom gets overtime pay. my brother does not. my dad pays himself. my dad eschews new clothes. my brother likes his hair cut very short. my mom grows her own vegetables, composts, but really likes shiseido moisturizer. what do i want to do with my life? oprah says that children in nairobi are SO well behaved. they respect their elders. what is important? why doesn't everybody think about this all the time? it would sure introduce a lot of appreciativeness, humility. i can't quite come up with a definitive answer, and my best answer changes depending on the crescent of the moon. i don't quite know what to turn to, what to read. i read a lot from a lot of different things. i'm not even sure why i think a book might have really good answers. at indigo, yesterday, i even picked up Dr phil mcgraw's book (about managing life), and other things in the "self-help" section - and normally i eschew self-help sections...

i feel like i'm running out of time. oprah, you brought this on! aaargh!!! anyway, londonpoo, here i come.