sometimes i am sitting in a very nondescript mall, and i'll watch people walk by, and wonder what they do, how they live, what they're shopping for. if i'm at a red light, and i see all the cars zoom by, i'll wonder where they're all going, if it's 6 in the morning, or 3 in the morning. and especially if it's just 2 in the afternoon.

so much has happened since i last wrote - and although i can turn my thoughts over in my head, i can't necessarily write them down, although i'd like to - have a record so that i'll never forget, flip to it as easily as you can flip to a verse in a book. some things are just better experienced, and do not warrant description. logistically, it's a problem of intertwining and interplay of emotions and words and puns and looks and feelings, both in time and out - each thing would require an exhaustive work-up, delicate arrangement of words, also quantities of words. don't worry, i'm not in love or anything - but things have just been hard to describe lately. i think it's a changing time, very slowly. i can feel it. i don't know quite what. i feel like there will be some major obstacle, some big dilemma or thing to work through, but i have no idea what or when. it feels suspicious, pensive, even...upon sitting here just thinking about it...and now i wonder what would happen if i just upped and left and went home. does a tree make a sound when it falls in a forest and no one's around?

all in all, though, my mood is light and good. i'm just thinking.

i'm listening to an old song - a song that used to be my favorite, back in high school. it's by the cranberries, and it's called hold on to love or when you're gone or something like that. at least, the very first line is "hold on to love....". good song. listen to it.

i spent a very funny weekend with my trin gals...a night of double serving crispy beef, and some crazy jenga-trivial-pursuit game we made up at a pub that happened to have monopoly and frustration and chess and checkers and other games lying around in piles...and SCRABBLE! i love scrabble - we started out with respectable rounds of scrabble, devolving into mad dashed of speed scrabble, and as my friends started to manifest the effects of guiness on the nervous system, speed scrabble become spell-rude-words-scrabble and these-four-letters-are-your-next-child's-name scrabble (ITAE, JUBE, etc etc), further devolving into POOPIE is the name of your next child no TOENAIL is the name of your next child...

anyway, there's a radiology lab tomorrow i have to prep for, and i need to sleep for tomorrow's operative practical.