sometimes it's quite difficult to decide what to actually write for public consumption. like on these bloggie things. Jonathan Franzen (of The Corrections fame) recently wrote in the Atlantic Monthly (or the New Yorker) that either a writer writes for the sake of art (and is, thus, as a consequence, difficult to understand - think, Leonard Cohen's Beautiful Losers) and for himself, or either a writer compensates (acquiesces, in my point of view), and enters into a pact with the reader, so as to produce (mediocre?) readable, interesting, plot-by-plot material (think, any "novel" you can buy at Shoppers Drug Mart for $5.99 beside the humpty dumpty chips). and so, do i glorify the mundane and funny events of my own life, so as to elevate them into art? (and risk the anger or beats, i guess of my friends intimiately involved - and expose terribly private moments?) do i write terribly superficially and skim over the days events? do i hide everything in sarcasm? do i write for generally public or just my friends or do i write to the unknown masses? shall i wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled? do i dare to eat a peach? (did you get the literary connection there? if you did - GOOD! you're well-rounded).
anyway, away from all of that irreconcilable nonsense! it's time to think about important things, like when next i will eat yogen fruz??? a week of exams have gone by, with one left to go on monday. we had a barrage...today was head and neck anatomy. there was a practical part where many prosections (like 50!) of human cadaver heads were lain out and we had to identify nerves and vessels and structures....there were some structures that i just had no IDEA about...and was tempted to just put down some random answer, like buccal cusp of the permanent first maxillary molar (although positive that the structure wasn't a tooth at all), or tempted to just write down "bum", which is the answer Gokhan wrote down for what really was a shoulder muscle during our last practical...speaking of Gokhan, right before the practical, i suppose he was thirsty, and i think he intended to drink out of an emergency eyewash station. he turned it on, getting ready to drink, but the girl sitting under the eyewash station started shreiking - there was no mainline connection - the eyewash station was just a sink - and the water was forming a nice great puddle around her bag and lab coat...now THAT was a funny sight.
I think sometimes, despite where you look for wisdom and profound enlightenment of whatever degree, you will not find it in philosophical treatises or scholarly papers. Sometimes in the most unlikely movies that are set hundreds of years into the future or those movies that contain alien species and very corny-noble dialogue contain the simplest phrases chock-full of meaning packaged with clarity...like..."the echo overtaking the voice" or "what it means to be human is to be better than you are". i quite like the latter one, because it really does mean that being human, and having the spirit of humanity within you shows that you really are more than the sum of your parts. i think it's so very important to realize that our smallest actions, our words, do have tremendous impacts - especially on others and those that are around you all the time and thus take for granted; and perhaps a general guideline for interacting with others (i hate generalities and generally love analyzing things to death) is that you should speak as if it were the last comment you were ever able to say to that particular person. this doesn't mean that you cannot be critical, but you must use tact, and the intention must be a nurturing one. and really, in the end, a compliment offered is better than a negative remark you cannot retract without residue.

well, it will be off to weldon again to study biochem tomorrow. i have found that on-line shopping really is a martha-stewart-esque "good thing". This is what i was doing while "studying" anatomy last night. I ordered Franzen's Corrections, and Rushdie's Midnight's Children. i am looking forward to not setting my alarm tonight and waking up at 6 to review the day's notes out of anxiety. which reminds me, i need to book my train tickets and pack. time to take off the day's plaque. night.